Your Prime Minister

There lived a certain man in Russia long ago
He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow
Most people looked at him with terror and with fear
But to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear
He could preach the bible like a preacher
Full of ecstacy and fire
But he also was the kind of teacher
Women would desire

RA RA RASPUTIN
Lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
RA RA RASPUTIN
Russia's greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on

He ruled the Russian land and never mind the Czar
But the kasachok he danced really wunderbar
In all affairs of state he was the man to please
But he was real great when he had a girl to squeeze
For the queen he was no wheeler dealer
Though she'd heard the things he'd done
She believed he was a holy healer
Who would heal her son

RA RA RASPUTIN
Lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
RA RA RASPUTIN
Russia's greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on

(Spoken:)
But when his drinking and lusting and his hunger
for power became known to more and more people,
the demands to do something about this outrageous
man became louder and louder.

"This man's just got to go!" declared his enemies
But the ladies begged "Don't you try to do it, please"
No doubt this Rasputin had lots of hidden charms
Though he was a brute they just fell into his arms
Then one night some men of higher standing
Set a trap, they're not to blame
"Come to visit us" they kept demanding
And he really came

RA RA RASPUTIN
Lover of the Russian queen
They put some poison into his wine
RA RA RASPUTIN
Russia's greatest love machine
He drank it all and he said "I feel fine"

RA RA RASPUTIN
Lover of the Russian queen
They didn't quit, they wanted his head
RA RA RASPUTIN
Russia's greatest love machine
And so they shot him till he was dead

-Boney M

*****

Who was the real Rasputin? According to Wikipedia: "Contemporary opinions variously saw Rasputin as a saintly mystic, visionary, healer, and prophet, or as a debauched religious charlatan. Historians can find both to be true, but there is much uncertainty: accounts of his life have often been based on dubious memoirs, hearsay, and legend." Though there's not really much agreement on who he was, it is commonly believed that Rasputin influenced the latter days of Czarist Russia through his prophecies and religious declarations.



Now Prime Minister Stephen Harper has his own Rasputin behind the scenes (and you're footing the bill for this sage). The video above also talks about Harper's personal stylist (who's also on your payroll). I think the most telling thing is that the Conservative House Leader is laughing and cracking jokes either because he finds it funny that Harper wears more make-up than an emo band or because he'd rather not try to justify his leader's excentric decadence.

Magic Carpet Ride

I was thinking more about RS's Songs with a Secret. I think they missed Steppenwolf's Magic Carpet Ride. Everyone knows it's about a drug trip, but I've read that it describes a certain fraternity's initiation ritual quite well. While the fraternity officially denies it, they don't address the fact that the song closely describes their ritual. The song is also listed among other frat songs. Even the frat's official website has a picture of Aladdin's lamp on the home page (the song references Aladdin's lamp). I've read that the Steppenwolf members who were in the fraternity were kicked out and their names erased from membership databases for exposing the secret ritual. Alternatively, I've read that the song was ghost-written by a member of the frat. Whether the song is about the ritual, or just a drug trip, it certainly has a secret and should therefore have been on the list.

If any of my reader (singular, I think I only have one) is a member of Lambda Chi Alpha (aka LXA), you can anonymously tell me if the song really does describe the ritual.

Here are some quotes from members:
"I remember in about 1970-1971, Steppenwolf came to Chattanooga, Tn. and two other brothers besides myself went backstage to talk to them before the concert. When introduced to them, they gave us the “handshake test” and asked us to stay for the final song (of course-Magic Carpet Ride!) It is hard for me to believe there is not a link here."

"I have an old vinyl album (Steppenwolf, Gold: Their Great Hits) as part of a collection of vinyls that my mother gave me. On the reverse side of the album cover are three pictures. Amazingly they are purple, green and gold!" (the frat's official colours are purple, green and gold)

"I remember discussing the similarities with the song and LXA during chapter meetings. There has to be a connection somewhere. The similarities are too great!"

*****
In other news:
This list is just another reason why Rolling Stone magazine is a must-read for all rock-music junkies. According to Rolling Stone, these are the 40 songs that changed the world. Very cool.

In Memory, In Honour, In Support

By now we've all heard of the tragedy at Virginia Tech on Monday when 33 people were killed by a 23 year old student. Among the dead are a Canadian professor and a holocaust survivor who died heroically trying to save his students. In sad news, one blogger decided things would have been different if other students had been armed. The moron apparently doesn't get that lax gun control helped facilitate this massacre. The Washington Post summarizes this and other blogs. Finally, the Toronto Star (via the Canadian Press) has this interesting (and interactive) history of violence in schools.

That's the news, now time for my take.

For some reason, the Dawson College tragedy on September 13, 2006 didn't really hit me. One person was killed and 20 were wounded that day. I think it really should have struck me since it happened in Canada (Montreal) at a college not unlike the one I currently attend. But it didn't seem to connect like the Virginia Tech rampage has.

I recall that while attending Wilfrid Laurier University in Waterloo I always felt perfectly safe. I remember feeling a sense of community there. I was always surrounded by other young people who were there because they wanted to be. There was stress and there was even violence, but I felt safe. There was this sense that everyone around me had the same goals and ambitions. I imagine students at Virginia Tech felt very much the same way. I can't imagine their grief. I was in class when I read the news online. A friend from WLU IM'ed me about the news. He said it was mental. I was still, I think, in disbelief. I said I don't think I could have gone back had it happened at Laurier while we were there.

I was watching a special report on CBC when I was inspired to have my input. They were interviewing students from VT about the incident. One group talked about hearing gun shots in the adjacent classroom and leaping through windows to escape. One student reported that he was the last to make it out of the room alive - the two people behind him were shot and killed. One professor (as mentioned above) died trying to save his students. I cannot imagine having that kind of bravery and composure in such a chaotic situation.

I don't want to turn this into an argument about gun control laws in the United States (though I may already have done that). This is about those who were tragically killed. This about the families and friends who suffered unimaginable loss. This is about those who have to go back to class. This is about a tragedy that will be overcome.

We're with you.

The Meaning of Rock

"Sometimes...playing rock music...it can all become a big wash and sometimes the words get lost..." says Pearl Jam guitarist Stone Gossard at a concert in Seatle. While the band went on to play Lukin (the lyrics of which cannot be understood), the idea that rock lyrics are often misunderstood is very valid. There are countless rock songs that, for whatever reason, are consistently misinterpretted. My favourite is Neil Young's Keep on Rockin' in the Free World, which many mistakenly think is an anthem for the free world (or specifically, the fall of the Berlin Wall), but in reality is about the decay of American politics and society. Rolling Stone magazine has their own take on the Top 25 Songs With a Secret. I'm not going to transcribe them all, but here are some of my favorites:

2. “Lola” – The Kinks: Thought to be about a beautiful woman, actually inspired by an incident in which Kinks’ manager Robert Wace spent a drunken night dancing with a transvestite he mistook for a woman.
3. “Born in the USA” – Bruce Springsteen: Misperceived as a nationalistic anthem, is really a dark portrait of post-Vietnam life.
5. “Rainy Day Women #12 & #35” – Bob Dylan: With its lyrical proclamation, “everybody must get stoned” the song was embraced as a stoner’s anthem, but the song is actually about the literal throwing of stones.
6. “Please Please Me” – The Beatles: Thought to be a cute little teenage love song, is actually about oral sex.
11. “Polly” – Nirvana: Misunderstood by frat boys to glorify rape, was actually inspired by a true story in which a rape victim escaped from her captor.
12. “She Bop” – Cyndi Lauper: Thought to be a charming and innocent song about a girl dancing around, is actually about masturbation.
18. “Pennyroyal Tea” – Nirvana: Thought to be inspired by many things, including a tea Kurt drank to ease his stomach pain, was actually inspired by an herbal remedy meant to cause an abortion.
20. “Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)”– Green Day: Misperceived as a love song, is really about a bitterness-filled breakup.
24. “Drain You” – Nirvana: Thought to be just another song about heroin, is actually about a case in which one twin baby stole the nutrients from its twin while in the womb, resulting in one stillbirth.
25. “Dier Eir von Satan” – Tool: Thought to be about something to do with Satan, the lyrics, which are all in German, actually consist entirely of a repeating recipe for hashish cookies.


I think my absolute favourite in the RS list is Good Riddance (Time of Your Life). I still recall so many people singing this "great love song" with their highschool sweethearts. One RS reader wrote that it seemed that at every wedding he went to this song was played for the couple's first dance. The title of the song is Good Riddance! How people didn't know this was about a bitter break-up confounds me.

I also love Please Please Me because it launched the shaggy-haired idols from Liverpool into stardom. These "good boys" represent the "good ol' rock and roll" that your parents wish you would listen to. I think this may actually be the perfect embodiment of what rock is: a big FU to mainstream society (preferably without them knowing it!).


Kudos RS.

"B.S." or "Harper's Environmental Catholicon"

It seems the Harper government has "leaked" a draft plan that would begin to reduce greenhouse gas emissions as early as 2010. According to the Canadian Press,

The 13-page plan, marked secret, says regulations and programs introduced by
Ottawa and the provinces will mean that emissions can be expected to start to
decline as early as 2010 and no later than 2012. After that emissions will
decline steadily, according to the document.

Harper has decided to leak this in the lead up to the next federal election, which of course means it is bullshit. I hope I'm wrong, I hope the Tories will actually do something helpful on the environment, but this, I'm certain, is bullshit. I can't believe a government so flippant about climate change, would suddenly come up with a proposal that would do Canada's part to stem the tide of global warming. This is nothing more than pre-writ campaigning. My money says the Tories will try to work on it after the next election (if they win) then tell us they can't get support from enough provincial governments to make it work and will end up scrapping it. Of course all these federal-provincial negotiations will be meaningless shams, but they will give Harper someone else to blame for not delivering on this promise.

I want to be wrong here. Harper, prove me wrong. Make this happen. Deliver on this promise.

Blogging for the Sake of Blogging

Well, it was a busy couple of weeks for me. Lots of school work has meant I've been too busy to post anything all week (with the exception of one blog, which I promptly took down in the interests of my own sanity). I guess the truth isn't that I've been too busy, but rather, that I haven't been inspired. I blame all the group meetings and assignments for taking away my desire to read the news. I also blame Mr. McIver for not having posted any Tory rhetoric in about as long. Usually I can count on at least one of those sources to inspire me.

Anyway, I'm bored now, so I just took a quick look at the Globe and Mail where I found an interesting article about a new Grit-Green alliance. Liberal leader Stephane Dion has agreed not to run a candidate in the riding of Central Nova (currently held by Foreign Affairs Minister Peter MacKay), where Green Party leader Elizabeth May will be running. In return, Ms May has agreed not to run a candidate in Dion's riding of Saint-Laurent-Cartierville.

My question is: What's the point? May isn't going to beat a sitting cabinet minister and Dion's seat probably isn't up for grabs (he won by nearly 20,000 votes last time around). Dion said he likes May's policy on the environment. Woo-hooo. Doesn't he like his own policy on the environment?

I'm thinking Mr. McIver might be right, maybe this Dion guy is a complete moron. One MP called him "a big albatros around the party's neck," while another was inspired to opine that the Liberal Party is now "the silly party."

Something has got to be up. I cannot conceive of any good reason for Dion to make this deal. Is May going to jump ship right after the election (if she wins, which she won't)? In that scenario, the Liberals are a conniving party intent on tricking Central Novans to vote Liberal without knowing it. I hope that's not the case. Is Dion worried about his own seat? I don't think he should be. How could one possibly lose enough popularity to erase a 20,000 vote advantage in fewer than 2 years? Did May and Dion engage in some extra-political affairs (aka Clintonian politics or shagging) and now May is extorting him? Or Dion is extorting May?

I can't agree with NDP eidolon and former leader Ed Broadbent's assertion that this is the “ultimate kind of scheming to reduce electoral choice,” but he's not exactly wrong, he's merely embellishing the significance of the deal.

I'm a Liberal, but let's just say Dion's next move better be across the Rubicon (that is, it better lead to an inevitable Liberal return to power).*

*****
* Pat, I said "an inevitable return to power," not "the inevitable return to power." I'm not suggesting the Liberals are destined to win the next election because it is some sort of Liberal right, I'm saying Dion's next move better put us in a position where we will be able to win the next election. I know how you love to talk about the Liberal Party's sence of entitlement to govern, so I thought I'd clarify that I'm not demonstrating that alledged belief.

Thursday Night Debauchery (Minus the Promiscuity)

I've decided, before the fish get too big, that I should publish my recollection of the events of last night so as to ensure I'm not accused of ever having actually donned bicycle shorts and a muscle shirt while singing Shake Your Bon Bon with friends at La Cantina. So here is the night, as I recall it:

I started by going with some friends to watch the Sarnia Blast get embarrassed by the Strathroy Rockets in game six of the league championships. The final score was 9-7, which isn't a massive defeat, especially considering the Rockets' ninth goal was an empty-netter, but allowing nine goals, regardless of how many you've scored, is embarrassing (or should be). Basically, the defense played more like pylons while the coach refused to pull the starting goalie until he allowed the eighth Strathroy goal. What a debacle.

From the game, we went to La Cantina where I would proceed to embarrass the hell out of myself (and probably those forced to be seen with me). I think it all started out modest enough: a few drinks, a few games of pool, and a bevy of friends together for some therapeutic release. Then things started to get interesting. My "friends" (whom I shall later thank for a wonderful evening) decided to submit my name to the friendly karaoke DJ who soon after called me up to sing Ricky Martin's Shake Your Bon Bon. Apparently, it was my birthday last night, so, as is tradition at La Cantina, I was asked to bend over while my friends slapped my skinny ass 25 times in celebration.
I want to take a moment here to thank my new not-best-friend Kyle for finding a binder with which to strike me. Ass. Anyway, due to this flogging, I was physically unable to shake my bon bon, so I remained largly still while belting out the most excruciatingly awful rendition of the aforementioned Ricky Martin hit (notice the absence of bicycle shorts and muscle shirt). I want to thank Steph and Jodi, who helped out with the choruses, and Cindy for laughing hysterically off stage.

Once this calamity was mercifully over, we soon headed over the The Lazy Duck. The Duck is a popular dance club in Sarnia and it seems, at least last night, I was right at home. According to Erin (not Beener, she bailed early), I was "dancing...a lot." Though, as you can see, not well.
So that was the night. Nothing really all that bad I guess, just a lot of good, clean, alcohol-inspired fun.

If I should apologize to anyone, I do (I'm specifically thinking about how I got caught, on camera, making sure Cindy's shirt was...lint-free). I'm not going to include that picture, sorry.

Thanks to all my friends who made this a fun night: Kyle, Sarah, JR, Erin, Amanda, Amanda, Chris, Cindy, Jodi, Brook, Steph, Craig, Beener, Corey, Dusty, Jordan, and anyone else I drank from my memory. As an aside, I think this was the first time I ever saw Dusty at a bar and was more intoxicated than him.

Last night was a very interesting night. I trust I entertained a number of friends, and if I managed to do that I suppose it was all worth it.

Enjoy your Easter weekend. Or, if you don't believe in the Resurrection of Jesus, enjoy your weekend!

The Yawn of Canadian Politics

I don't know what's worse, the Conservative Party's attactics (that's "attacks" and "tactics" smooshed together because when I was re-reading it, I found those two words awkward to say one after the other) or their insistance that the Liberals don't care about real issues. I know, I know, the Liberals are a bunch of panzies because they keep seeking apologies for Conservative slander, but I really don't see the problem. One partisan blogger (who seems as capable of independent thought as the rest of them) tells me it shows that the Liberals "[regard] the images and self-esteem of its officials as the most pressing public issue there is." MacLean's Paul Wells seems to be receiving the same talking points from Conservative headquarters. Finally, lest I forget the most dignified of all Conservatives, even Mr McIver has had his say.

How dare we Liberals cry foul?

To Ms Tintor, Mr Wells, and Mr McIver, it seems even your own allies are getting a little tired of your ugly tactics. Andrew Coyne, a blogger so Conservative (the capital 'C' is intentional) he has earned a link on Mr McIver's site (just above the Western Standard), posted an article decrying Tory attack ads. Thank you, Mr Coyne, for reaffirming the fading notion that at least some Tories have the capacity for independent thought.

According to the Tories, the Liberals "don't care about real issues" because all we do is demand apologies. Well, I just pulled up the Liberal Party's website and I see nothing that attacks the Tories or demands apologies from them. In contrast, I also pulled up the Conservative Party's website and one of the top four stories is titled "Stephane Dion has a lot of explaining to do," while the top link on the right side of the page reads "Not a Leader" (that's Toryspeak for "Stephane Dion"). Incredibly, there are exactly two pictures of Stephen Harper on the Tory homepage. How many of Stephane Dion? Two! I'm confused, which party doesn't care about real policy? And those are the official media mouths! I don't even need to talk about the blogs. Tintor, Wells, McIver, and surely others I haven't the stomach to bother reading (I get my fill of partisan propoganda while sifting through American newspapers for international news), all seem to be wearing blinders that render them incapable of looking beyond Liberal reaction to Conservative attacks.

I know I'm not going to convince any androids (read: Conservatives) that the Liberal Party actually cares about policy, so I'm not going to go any further on that. What I'll do instead is expose the Conservative game plan. Mr McIver did the same to the (alleged) Liberal game plan, so I shall respond in kind. Without further preface, here is the Conservative game plan:

1. say mean things about the Liberals until they react
2. make fun of the Liberals for reacting
3. tell mommy

(The last step hasn't been called into action yet, but it will once the Tories realize the first two steps are transparent and annoying.)

If you're wondering why I chose to use such juvenile language as "say mean things" and "make fun of", it's because I borrowed this plan from an assignment I did in grade 3 about how bullies act. Sorry.

Here's a simple message to the hypocrites (read: Conservatives):

Stop telling us that personal attacks are the norm in politics. Even if
you're correct, and they are the norm, does that make it right? Of course
not. Stop telling us that the Liberals don't care about real policy,
because doing so is hypocritical (that is to say, doing so
is to focus on Liberals and values while ignoring real policy!).
If you want the Liberals to focus on real policy, try doing it yourself.
Instead of calling us panzies and cry babies, tell us our policy (for example)
on Afghanistan is faulty (and it might be, as Mr McIver notes, it can sometimes
be difficult to nail down Dion's policies). Or better yet, tell us your
policy!

Thank you.

The Weekend that Was

I don't generally make a habit of posting about my experiences (at least not anymore). But I had an exciting (and tiring) weekend, so here goes...actually, my buddy Loafie asked me to talk about him in a blog so here it is, he only has himself to blame.

The weekend started Thursday night. I went to La Cantina (as usual, reluctantly) for a going away party for some friends. While there, I had a few beverages and caught up with some old friends.

Then Friday night I worked on an essay, yippie.

Saturday I went to Burlington to visit my sister, my new little cousin, and some friends and other family. (Here's were Loafie comes in.) Me and two of my best friends, Loafie and Floody (we have no real names...) went out to BP for some food and drinks. As normally happens when we get together, many of the lengendary stories came up: how Loafie earned his nickname at the Delta Hotel in Ottawa, the moaner story (also from the Delta), how we got kicked out of Paddy's in Waterloo after our final university exam ever, and so on. You say you want to know how Loafie got his name? Well, sure, let's publish it for everyone to read. Apparently (I wasn't in the room, but I've heard the story a thousand times...and I still find it hysterical), the kiddies were sitting around in a Delta hotel room when Wheeler asked what animal everyone would be if they could be any animal (Wheeler is a funny guy, a great guy who I admire, but a funny guy). I guess most people chose the standard regal beasts - eagles, lions, whatever, but Loafie, he picked a squirel...or was it a bird? Either way, he picked an animal capable of perching atop hydro wires, tree branches, whatever, so as to "drop a loaf" on people he didn't like. This was the first weekend we really got to know each other, so this unfortunate story and nickname has stuck with him ever since. Since I outed Loafie, I should out the Moaner. The moaner story involves someone jumping around (drunk I think) at the end of someone else's bed, commanding them to go to sleep so the leaper could hear the moan that allegedly eminates from the moaner during sleep. Again, I wasn't actually in the room, but the story is a classic. I refuse to write about how we got kicked out of Paddy's because it borders on the criminal, and Sandra's still a little ways from being a lawyer, so right now, I have no representation. Anyway, that was Saturday. Great times! I can't wait to see them again at the end of April!

On to Sunday. My aunt decreed Sunday Easter Sunday, so we had an easter dinner (at 1.30pm). But more special was finally meeting Kathryn, my cousin's daughter. Kate is (I guess) two or three weeks old now. She's super cute, and super small. I got to hold her, which was mildly less frightening than the last time I held a child that young. Experience helps I guess.

Anyway, it wasn't really an exceptionally eventful weekend, but it was an all-around great weekend. I absolutely needed some time with the old boys. And a big dinner with the extended family was grand as well.

Thanks everyone!

Interesting Song Titles, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Procrastination

I was thinking about an update to my "Random List" section where I traditionally post stupid little top five lists. I thought of doing top five weird song titles, but when going through some music looking for weird song titles, I found too many. What does this mean? It means you, my faithful readers, get yet another new blog tonight (this is number three).

First, some head scratchers with cool stories behind them:

1. Any early (pre-1960s) song titles with the phrase "Rock and Roll" in it is refering to sex. I learned that recently, maybe you didn't know. Now you do.
2. Hadacol Boogie (Jerry Lee Lewis and Buddy Guy perform the version I know, but it is a cover): Apparently "Hadacol" was a medicine marketed as a vitamin suppliment. I don't generally feel I need a vitamin suppliment, but I would have taken this particular one - it was 12% alcohol! This song is about being drunk. The spoken words at the end of the track I know asks why they called it Hadacol. The answer: "hada call it something."
3. Death of a Martian (Red Hot Chili Peppers): This one is sad. It was written for Martian, Flea's dog, who passed away during the recording sessions.

Second, some that are only funny if you know the song or what it's about:

1. Strawberry (Everclear): This song was inspired by a dream Art Alexakis had. In his dream, he relapsed after having kicked his drug habit. It has, as far as I can tell, absolutely nothing to do with strawberries.
2. You Don't Have to Mean It (the Rolling Stones): "You don't have to mean it, you just got to say it anyway..." I don't want to say what I think it's about, but it's probably got something to do with...relationships.

Third, the one's that make you scratch your head:

1. The Ballad of El Goodo (Evan Dando): Who's El Goodo and why does he deserve a ballad?
2. My Ding-A-Ling (Chuck Berry): This one could probably go in the second category, but you don't have to know the song to know what it's about!
3. Pressed Rat and Warthog (Cream): I don't know who Pressed Rat and Warthog are, but according to Ginger Baker, they've reopened their shop and are selling Cream t-shirts. I'd buy one.
4. The Lemon Song (Led Zeppelin): Similar to the above Everclear song, it has, as far as I can tell, nothing to do with the food in its title. In fact, this is a (sort of) cover of Howlin' Wolf's Killing Floor making the Zepp title even more curious.
5. Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey (the Beatles): John Lennon said this song was about him and Yoko Ono, which suggests that Yoko Ono certainly had something to hide...
   
6. Little Ole Wine Drinker, Me (Dean Martin): I just like it. But then, I just like alcohol, so this shouldn't be a surprise.
7. Pigs in Zen (Jane's Addiction): What? Is Perry Farrell suggesting pigs are buddhists?
   
8. Ted, Just Admit It... (Jane's Addiction): Admit what? Apparently the song is about the fine line between good and bad...
9. Naked & Famous (PUSA): Yeah, that would be cool.
10. Possum Kingdom (Toadies): Animal anthropology or acid trip? Actually, it's either about making it behind the boathouse with a hot brunette, or about the devil's temptations... I'm not sure I can give the Toadies enough credit to believe the latter.
11. How's My Ex Treating You? (Jerry Lee Lewis): I just love it. Tim?
    
12. Drinkin' Wine Spo-Dee-O-Dee (Jerry Lee Lewis): Clearly Jerry Lee had been drinking way too much wine.

Okay, that was a beautifully pointless waste of time. Now to finish my essay. Thanks.

Something About Iraq that Didn't Seem Old to Me

You may have noticed that I haven't posted anything about Iraq in a long time. In fact, I believe I've only ever posted on the topic once since Kerr's Comments started a couple months ago. Iraq is all over the news, it's reported everyday, ad nauseam, so I steer clear and try to give a voice to other issues. Well, I've decided to make an exception. I was reading an article in Time magazine entitled The War Turns 4. Here's the quote that caught my eye:

An Iraqi mother hopes her children will be safe - but then she learns that bombers are placing children visibly in the backseat, as unwitting little decoys, so the car can clear the checkpoints before the driver blows it up, with the children still inside.

I don't think this needs analysis. Fucking evil.

Quantifying My Love for Rock Bands

I have previously blogged about what my favourite rock bands are and the list, no matter how many times I do it, seems never to be the same twice. The only constants seem to be Eric Clapton, the Tragically Hip, and the Beatles. So, I decided to try to determine, in a completely objective manner, what my favourite rock bands are. I decided to do this by counting how many songs by individual bands I have ripped to my computer (yes, Metallica, they're all legal...ahem). So here is the list, my favourite musical acts:

1. the Beatles (116)
2. the Tragically Hip (62)
3. the Rolling Stones (52)
4. Chuck Berry (51)
5. Sloan (46)*
6. Pearl Jam (44)
7. Live (43)
   
8. Our Lady Peace (41)
9. Eric Clapton (40)**
10. Audioslave (38)***
11. Red Hot Chili Peppers (34)
12. Cream (29)**
13. Led Zeppelin (28)
14. BB King (23)
    
15. Bob Dylan (22)
16. Aerosmith (22)

Well, there you go, my 16 favourite rock acts as determined by my digital music library. I knew the Beatles would be number one, and I knew the Hip would be number two, but some of the others surprised me a bit. I didn't realize how much Cream I had!**** Anyway, this was fun for me, even though I'm certain you don't care. Hey, it's my blog, I can post what I want!

*****
* 30 of Sloan's 46 tracks are from their last CD, so this really shouldn't count. Though I do love them.
** Since Cream basically was Eric Clapton, I considered combining the two. Had I done so, EC would have finished second with 69 (hehe) songs. Or more, were I to count my Yardbirds collection. (Plus another with John Mayall and the Bluesbreakers and one with BB King. I have no Blind Faith or Delanie & Bonnie and Friends. My collection of Derek and the Dominos only includes Layla, and it is counted under Eric Clapton, since he was Derek and the Dominos.)
*** Audioslave deserves to finish higher because every song they ever officially released on CD is accounted for. Stupid Chris Cornell breaking up the band!
**** Any sexual innuendos are strictly unintentional, you sicko. Yes, I know I caught it too. You're saying that makes me a sicko? Huh...

*****
I decided to add a bonus here: Some lyrics from the much underrated Kings of Leon:

feels like a fast or homeless sleep,
at least there's a record that i love to play

More bonus: Some lyrics from the Rolling Stones:

And his coat is torn and frayed,
It's seen much better days.
Just as long as the guitar plays
Let it steal your heart away,
Let it steal your heart away.

Beautiful. No matter what's going on in your life, music is always there to take you away.