- Everclear/Seven Mary Three - Everclear lead singer (and creative driving force) Art Alexakis ought never to have been given a microphone. Notwithstanding great tracks like Santa Monica, Summerland, and Strawberry, Art has, in my opinion, one of the worst voices in music. On the other hand, in my opinion, he is also one of the best songwriters in rock music. His songs seem to connect to everyone. He manages to express his thoughts and experiences without the vague, cryptic lyrics that so many rockers use.* I think if Art set down his microphone, and started writing songs for other bands, he would be much more appreciated. Here's where 7M3 comes in. Lead singer Jason Ross has a killer voice - it rivals the best grunge has ever offered. Unfortunately, from what I heard on American Standard, he should not be allowed to write anymore song lyrics. I will grant him genius on Cumbersome, but it pretty much ends there. A message to the 7M3 crew: hire Art to write you some songs (like Everclear or not, the man writes hit songs), and return to your platinum glory days of 1995-1996.
- The Doors/Nickelback - This one is a stretch, but just think about it. Nickelback singer-songwriter Chad Kroeger is seemingly incapable of writing complete songs. Almost everything I've heard from Nickelback is (musically) murderously catchy, but (lyrically) incomplete. I'm not kidding, go read the lyrics to some Nickelback songs - they repeat the same verse over and over (sometimes Chad changes a word or two). On the other hand, you have the Doors. Replace the kitschy Doors music with the near-metal Nickelback sound, then replace the incomplete Nickelback lyrics with Jim Morrison poetry and you have a great, cross-generational rock band. Also, give the Doors' Robby Krieger the lead guitar duties because I'm not convinced Kroeger and Ryan Peake actually know how to play their guitars.
- Nirvana/Pearl Jam - I'm not suggesting either of these monster rock bands need(ed) any help being great, but imagine them combined. I would never replace Kurt Cobain, but since he...took himself out of the picture, think what could have been if Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder had taken over singer-songwriter duties and Mike McCready had taken over on lead guitar: Vedder's lyrical genius, Novoselic's monster bass, Grohl killing his drum set (back where he belongs), and McCready on lead guitar. The only problem: McCready and Vedder would have to pull double-duty because Pearl Jam is too great to let die.
Who would you mash-up? (If you say Linkin Park/Jay-Z I will not publish your comment - it was tried and it was useless. Jay-Z dominated so much, it just as easily could have been a mediocre house band behind him.)
*****
* I like some of the vague, cryptic lyrics out there, but too often there's no discernable meaning behind them. Lyrics can be vague and cryptic, but they have to mean something. Take the Shins for instance. James Mercer's lyrics are not easy to understand. They meander around meanings, but they say exactly what he wants them to say, you just have to think about them a bit. James Mercer = genius.
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